if youre ever feeling bad just look at pictures of albatross chicks bc theyre adorable but also fucking hilarious like the parents look like they go to pta meetings in full makeup carrying gucci handbags and the babies look like funky little muppets and i love them
dont speak to me or my versace dress or my son ever again
adulthood is just a constant struggle of, “man, i want cookies for breakfast, but I also recognize this is a bad nutritional decision. On the other hand, the only one who can stop me is me. i know that fucker’s weaknesses. i could totally take me in a fight.”
frog and toad are my two remaining brain cells struggling to keep my horrible body alive
candidates have to take a standardized test about government, economics, and current events. no cheating. their answers are published.
candidates have to draw countries out of a hat and play model UN together
candidates have to play as contestants in a political version of the old game show “The Dating Game”, with a random citizen serving as the “single” person looking for their representative match
candidates are given a simulation problem to solve in a limited time, with real political allies and experts potentially on call for them to reach out to. at the end of the time limit all candidates propose their solutions.
candidates have to take a conflict resolution seminar live on stage, and do team building exercises together
a debate, but like in debate club where the candidates don’t know which side they have to argue until the moderator tells them
candidates each have to participate in an “undercover boss” scenario where they do a normal job for a week. the normal job is selected by an independent panel and secret from the candidate until they show up in makeup
a one-shot d&d session
Candidates have to assemble a piece of flat-pack furniture
Candidates interviewed by a group/series of children ages 3-10
Pictionary (for candidate & running mate pairs)
Candidates secretly filmed interacting with servers/cashiers/retail workers, some real and some actors with scenarios
You can identify a fake redneck by their passionate support of “blue lives matter.” Real rednecks have been in at least one physical fight and/or high-speed chase with police officers and would do it again
why would you leave this in the tags, your gramps is a Legend
true red necks fought for OSHA, unions and labor rights
